Fear of dentists

I saw my dentist yesterday. I get pretty nervous when i go these days, and I thought it could be helpful to explain why that is. So after the appointment, I told him why.

"That is a horrible story", he said.

Yep. It's awful. Unfortunately, a bad dental experience hangs around, and it really messes with your mind. Here's the story:

It was 2008, and I was pregnant with Annie. I had an appointment with my dentist to get a crown put on. I don't ever love going to the dentist, but I wasn't expecting what happened.

If you've never had a crown placed, it isn't fun. First, they use the drill to grind down your tooth to however small it needs to be. This makes that tooth super sensitive. You don't leave it like that, however. The next step is to place a temporary crown over the tooth while you wait a couple weeks for the real crown to come in and get glued in place. It shouldn't be painful, but it is an obnoxious process.

I sat down in the chair and the dentist gave me a shot to numb my mouth. After several minutes, I felt like my mouth was numb. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. My dentist got his drill and starting working.

"OUCH!"

The dentist stopped and looked at me.

"Can you feel that?" he asked me.

"Yes! That hurts! I need another shot, I guess."

He gave me more shots. I can't remember how many, but it was a lot. He also waited and waited for the numbing of my mouth. Each and every time he would drill, I could feel it. The pain was excruciating. I can't even truly describe how awful it was, but I was white-knuckling it as best I could. I finally sat up and told him I couldn't continue.

He said because I was pregnant, he couldn't give me the right medicine or the right amount or something like that. He had ground down some of my tooth, and told me I couldn't leave with it half done! Oh really? Watch me. I walked out of his office and never looked back.

I couldn't make myself go see a dentist for 10 years afterward. 10 YEARS! My little tooth was definitely sensitive from then on, but I could deal with that. I finally mustered up some courage and made an appointment with a new dentist in Texas. I had 10 cavities. Oh, help me. They came up with a plan, and worked on one quadrant at a time. Each appointment got a little bit easier.

However, even now, walking into a dentist's office makes my heart race and my palms sweat. I bring headphones and blast the music in my ears, trying to quiet the panic and fear in my mind. It's hard work, to be honest.

Thankfully, I have a really awesome dentist now who does fantastic work and my mouth is so grateful. For now, I'll just keep making appointments every six months and hope for the best.