When I was in high school, I remember wanting to be well rounded. The closer we got to college, the more the phrase was thrown around in conversation.

"You really need to develop several talents."

"Did you see that so-and-so got in to the University of Anywhere? She is such a well rounded young woman!"

"Just getting good grades isn't enough! You need to spend time doing other things that you love."

We were all striving to become well rounded. I split most of my time amongst choir, dancing, and my education. I loved them all.

That was in the 90s. Oh my, how things have changed.Now? We no longer value being well rounded. We want EXCELLENCE! PERFECTION! Who cares if you love a lot of things? Pick one, and preferably by age 9, please. We have no time to waste. Frankly, 9 is quite old. You are already behind the curve as it is, but we will get you there! Don't worry.

BOOO. I'm not a fan of this new program. I think being involved in lots of activities, even if you're not an expert in ANY of them, is a better, happier way to live your life.

Here's a troubling story.

Last week I received some news from the band director at our high school. Julie can no longer participate in band. Her saxophone-playing days are over. Why? Why would she be forced to quit when she actually loves the saxophone and is a good player?

Marching band.

When Julie was four, we moved out to Texas and she began dancing. At age 5, she started playing soccer. She continued to do both activities until the end of sixth grade. In an agonizing decision that she had been contemplating for TWO YEARS, she hung up her soccer cleats. She had begun dancing competitively, and that meant more time at dance...and no time left for soccer. We were all sad, but the decision was made and we moved forward.

Around the same period of time, Julie picked up the saxophone and joined the band. Band in Texas is what I would call all-encompassing. It's no joke. My oldest two kids have both been involved in band throughout high school, one as a member of the color guard and the other as a trombone player. I have a lot of respect for how hard these kids work and practice, and it is evident in their performances. Like I said, it's serious business out here.

So here is the conflict: Julie is still dancing competitively and has no plans to stop. She loves it! Her commitments to dance keep her at the studio every Saturday morning throughout the year. EVERY Saturday. Marching band has competitions and performances on Saturday throughout the fall season as well, so she could not be part of it. They also practice Monday evenings, and she is at dance that day as well. So I wondered (read: emailed the band director) if she could continue playing saxophone in the high school concert bands, and not be in the marching band?

No. No way. No marching band = no band at all.

GRRRRR. I wish we could work things out with the band. I understand the drive for excellence, but does it really have to be all or nothing? Actually, I know the answer. I've watched my first two kids...and yes, they both gave their all. They practiced, breathed, and lived band. Nothing else. There was no room. Band was their LIFE.

I just don't think it should be for everyone. Julie's varied interests have made her interesting. She has friends from school, church, dance, band, and old soccer teams. She's well rounded.

I guess we are breaking up with band. I feel like I checked the irreconcilable differences box, where no one is a winner.

Well Rounded

Poison

Procrastinators Anonymous