Scared

Brian and I went swimming with manta rays.

Well, it wasn’t really swimming, but we were in the water while the manta rays were also in the water, eating.

Does that sound scary?

It totally was.

Back in January, Brian and I were in Hawaii on the Big Island. There is an amazing experience there where you can observe manta rays. We were both excited about the adventure. The designated day came, and we drove to our meeting spot. The sun was setting, and dusk quickly turned into darkness. By the time everyone in our group was on the boat, all remaining light was gone.

The captain steered our boat into the vast, dark ocean.

The sky was black, the water was black, and the waves were huge.

What had I done? My excitement was replaced with trepidation. After what seemed like an eternity, we arrived. We were given a little background about the manta rays, told they had no predators and were given some instructions. The captain asked for some strong swimmers to jump in and get going. Before I even knew what was happening, Brian grabbed my hand and volunteered us to go first.

Wait.

Am I a “strong swimmer?” Does floating in a pool count?? This ocean was pitch black and the waves were enormous! Do Manta rays eat you? Memories of the Crocodile Hunter being killed by some kind of a ray were at the forefront of my mind. Didn’t sharks eat manta rays? How about whales? The water is black! BLACK!!

I tried to step back, but Brian held onto my hand.

I was terrified.

The captain gave us the go-ahead, and Brian jumped in.

Crap.

I held my breath, closed my eyes, and jumped into the ominous ocean water.

I surfaced, found Brian, and swam faster than ever before to the PVC pipe we were supposed to hold. I was still scared, but I held on. Several minutes passed as the rest of the group got into position. We held on with extended arms, our legs behind us and our faces in the water. Lights illuminated the water below us. Then, we waited.

The manta rays appeared.

One after the other, mouths ajar and looking for food, they swam toward our faces. Each ray gracefully turned as they neared us, and swam back down. They sometimes got so close that their skin brushed against ours. This happened again and again. It was scary and amazing at the same time.

It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life.

I’ve thought often about how scared I was before I jumped in the water. Simply writing about it makes my heart race. I realized that being afraid wasn’t a problem that needed fixing. I was terrified…and I jumped into the ocean anyway. I didn’t need to get rid of the fear. I just needed to jump.

And I did.

What is terrifying you right now? Is the fear keeping you on the boat? Are you willing to head into the unknown, fully embracing the terror you feel?

There are lots of times in our life when incredible things are just on the other side of our fear. So don’t look at fear as a problem but as a pathway. Get yourself a trusted friend, life coach, or partner—and jump.