Real Friends
I have a few teenagers living in my house right now. I’ve had at least one teenager in my house for the past 11 years, actually. I am a little more experienced now than I was a decade ago. Although I’m getting better at riding the emotional roller coasters, I still need some practice.
One thing I have learned about is the importance of finding real friends. This is a crucial skill that must be learned and fine-tuned during those tumultuous, angsty teenage years. If you have a teenager, you know how important and influential their friends can be.
Bad friends are a dime a dozen. Believe me, they can be found anywhere. True friends, on the other hand, are much more rare and a bit harder to find. But don’t despair! I have a list that will help you.
Here you go:
Your real friends aren’t necessarily the ones you see often, the ones with the same interests as you. This is a common mistake. Don’t fall for it. You can spend a lot of time with another person at practice, or school, at church, or in your neighborhood—this alone does not mean they are a true friend. It can simply mean they are just there.
True friends don’t tear you down. They are not threatened by you or any success you may have. They aren’t actively finding ways to keep you down, or in your place. Instead, friends cheer for and support each other. Real friends don’t say mean, hurtful things, followed by a quick “just joking.” Mean is always mean, and trying to play it off as a joke is as transparent as water.
Your real friends want you around, just the way you are. You may say something stupid or awkward, and it’s ok. True friends understand that we all make mistakes, and they like you anyway. In this same vein, genuine friends treat you the same, no matter who else is around. If your bestie is only your bestie at your house, but school is a different story…it’s time to wake up.
Genuine friends don’t gossip about you. So how do you know if they talk badly about you when you’re not there? I have found that if one of your friends is talking about someone else with you, they are almost guaranteed to be gossiping about you when you’re gone. Look for the people who don’t gossip.
Sometimes friendships take time to develop. The real stuff is not instantaneous. Don’t panic. Leave the freak outs at home. Most things that are worthwhile take TIME. Real friends are no different.
Navigating friendships is one of the hardest parts of being a teenager. Eveyone is desperate to fit in. They want to be loved and adored and invited to all the things. Of course! But in the midst of those teenage years, it is common to mistake having many friends as having true friends. This is false. Big numbers do not equal real friendships.
There is an easy trick to finding real friends. It’s not a secret, but it surely gets overlooked A LOT! Are you ready? It’s kind of the most important part of this whole blog. Alright. Focus.
Read over the five things above, and then evaluate what kind of friend YOU are.
WHOA.
Mindblowing, right??
Seriously, as you become a true, genuine friend—you will find your people. I promise. It is a guaranteed path to success.
But it starts with you.
So let’s go.
