Fences

In the warmth of a perfect Idaho summer, my sister and I would spend hours trying to walk successfully across the fence that marked the end of our property. The fence was made of wood, two rails that ran horizontally between single vertical posts. Our fence was old and worn, and the rails were far from uniform. Some were solid, steady beams of wood, while others were rickety, unstable, and shook with every footstep.

It was awesome.

We would take turns, starting at the beginning and trying to make our way down the entirety of the fence without falling. If we fell, we had to go back to the beginning and start again. We did this again and again and again. There was one particular portion of the fence, towards the end, that was ridiculously difficult to cross. Picture a narrow, delapidated wood railing that bounced like a trampoline. That’s it. And like a trampoline, it often bounced my sister and I right onto the ground.

Sigh.

Back to the beginning.

Sometimes, in frustration, we would change the rules of the game and say we only had to go back to the beginning of the rail where we had fallen. Otherwise, we were becoming too discouraged and wanted to quit the game. However, the goal remained the same—to walk across the entire fence, successfully. In all of our attempts—and there were SO MANY—we were successful very few. Most of the time, we fell to the ground and had to start again.

Our game of walking-the-fence turned out to be quite the teacher. I’ve learned a lot of life lessons from that experience. But one stands out more than the rest.

When I walked across one of the steady rails, I immediately attributed my success to my own skill. I’m amazing! My balance is incredible! No one is as steady as me. I was as proud as could be. On the contrary, when I fell, I often blamed the rail. It’s too skinny! That rail is impossible to cross—look how much it wobbles! This fence is too old and needs to be torn down.

Hmmm.

Sound familiar to anyone?

We often love to take credit for all the good, successful things that happen, and then blame outside influences when we fall, figuratively. This is a bad idea. Don’t do it—maybe stop doing it, if you already are. 😜

I love hard work and consistent effort, but in life, there is more than that. If you believe in God, you can recognize His hand in your life. Seriously, not everything good that happens is because of you and your “hard work”. 🙄 If you don’t believe in Deity, good luck and good fortune are an integral part of any success. Some of us were born into better circumstances than others. Some people have brilliant minds and some people have so much coordination and athleticism they are good at every physical activity available. Sometimes we are in the right place at the right time, meeting the right people. It is more than ok to say that—we need to recognize it, acknowledge it, and be grateful. While I did have good balance and could walk across the wood rail, I also can see now that those rails were less worn, wider and as steady as could be. My success depended on both.

On the other hand, we love to blame others for our failures. This list can be endless! I failed because of my…mom? dad? friends? church leader? judge? teacher? doctor? therapist? Even our circumstances can be blamed. I know there are heartbreaking situations, things that should never happen. But they do, and they have. Blaming outside circumstances keeps us in the past, and we want to move forward. My son is currently learning this lesson as he tries to blame the inadequate referees and bad calls for a recent loss in basketball. While there is some truth to a few bad calls during the game, his shifting of responsibility away from himself does not help anything. Remember, when nothing is your fault, there is nothing you can do to improve. I fell repeatedly off one section of my fence. It was infuriating! But I kept working, changed my technique and approach, and successfully crossed the blasted rail more than once!

As you live your life, be careful how much credit you are taking for all the good things. Hard work matters, but success is not a solitary effort. Pay attention to the luck, the serendipity, or the blessings from God that play a part in your life. And then watch how much you blame others when you fall. Try seeing ways you can get better, regardless of the hills you have to climb to do it.

Most of all, keep walking the fence.

It’s an AWESOME way to spend your time.