Enough.
There are days when I have oodles of patience and compassion and understanding. And then there are days when I’m a little snarky and blunt and fiesty. Today is one of the latter.
Here it goes.
Dwelling on how your life (or anyone else’s life) should have been is pointless and wasting your time. Living in a state of should haves leads to frustration and bitterness. There is no gratitude here. Unhappiness thrives. Blaming others becomes second nature to you. Making excuses for your behavior becomes your favorite pasttime.
My parents should have been more affectionate. I would be nicer if they had loved me better.
My sister should have been at my wedding. She’s why I hate weddings.
I should have gotten that job. It ruined my life.
I should have lived closer to my family.
My kids should have done better in school, then I wouldn’t be so angry and disappointed all the time.
I should have been taller and have better turn-out. I wouldn’t be stuck in the back of every dance.
I should have stayed in the band.
I should have a better group of friends.
My friends should have remembered my birthday. I’ll just ignore everyone’s birthday now.
My spouse should…(insert whatever you think they should have done)
When you live like this long enough, you effectively create a new reality—one where you are always the victim, where everything is working against you, and one that only exists in your head. Enough! Who wants that?? I do have a suggestion for you:
STOP DOING IT.
Instead, try thinking about your life as a possibility. What could be? Replace all the should haves with what could bes. What could you do right now? You can make choices TODAY that will absolutely affect the FUTURE you want to create. Listen—everyone has limitations. I get that. So not all of your dreams are going to come true. Period. But hope and happiness live here. Hard work, consistency, and accountability are part of this path. So is gratitude. Your reality will be difficult at times, I can guarantee that. But that reality is real, and not a made-up story that lives in your head.
Stop the should have beens.
They are nonsense.
And if you want some straight shooting talk today, let me know. I’m on a roll.
