Doors

“Sign and date here, please.”

My eyes filled with tears, and no matter how ridiculous I felt, I couldn’t stop them.

I signed the title of my car to the insurance company, and walked away with a measly check that I didn’t even want.

I cried the whole way home. I was sad. So dang sad. I loved my car.

Loss is always hard, whether it is a friend, a home, a pet, a job, or even a stupid car. Loss breaks your heart. But loss is almost always followed by business—there are things you have to get done.

The loss of my car meant lots of phone calls with insurance adjusters and claims people, signing over my title, taking the car off our insurance policy, off our toll tag account, finding a new car, and more. There were a lot of things to do.

What I’ve noticed is that it can be quite easy to push down our emotions around our loss, and get caught up in all the business. Who has time to grieve?! Do this and do that, make a list and finish this—don’t stop. Don’t feel anything.

This behavior is no good. Don’t do this.

Emotions need to be allowed and processed. Especially the painful ones. Pushing our feelings down doesn’t make them disappear, but rather leads to all kinds of troubling behaviors—overeating, smoking, drinking, hoarding, shopping, excessive social media-ing, etc.

Another thing I noticed is that loss is often accompanied by regret. It’s hard to not be regretful when things go awry.

In the middle of my car debacle, I came upon a quote by Alexander Graham Bell that I had heard a lot, but only partially. The entire statement is much better.

“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”

Hmmmm.

This was precisely what I had been doing. Brian and I spent one night looking for cars, and it was pointless. Nothing looked right or handled right. Every car was horrible. The Tesla door was the only one I could see. But it was closed.

We went home that night, and I was more depressed than ever.

Alexander Graham Bell’s words swirled in my mind. I had to stop looking so regretfully at the closed door. I needed to move forward.

I still don’t have a car to drive, but I am open to new possibilities now. We continue to look, and I’m sure we will find something awesome soon.😎

Doors are always closing. It’s just a sad truth of life. It’s ok to feel sad. You absolutely should allow yourself to be sad when appropriate.

But let those closed doors go. Try not to fixate so intensely on what is closed that you miss all the doors that are open.