A Series of Heartbreaks
Is it possible that your heart can be broken, excited, and full of gratitude at the same time?
Yes, absolutely. It’s called being a parent.
My social media feed has been full of Senior Sunday pictures and memories, and I haven’t participated once. My third child is graduating from high school tomorrow, and I’ve been a juxtaposition of emotions since September. I’m quite tired of everything swirling around in my head and heart, so it is all coming out today.
Being a parent is an amazing opportunity. You have the chance to teach, guide, and love your own little tribe of humans. How great is that?! It is true that your children teach you so much, things that you didn’t really want to know in the first place. It is hard and humbling and totally worth the effort. However, no one talks about all the heartbreaks that occur along the way.
It’s not usually one devastating heartbreak…although that can happen. Instead, parenting is speckled with a series of heartbreaks, some that are so small you didn’t even notice at first.
Your heart breaks a little when your baby starts walking by herself and doesn’t need you for all her transportation needs.
It hurts a bit the first time your kid beats you in the game of Memory, especially when you were actually fighting to win.
When your little one goes to Kindergarten, it breaks your heart.
Your heart breaks when your girls don’t need your help doing their hair anymore—and start helping you with yours. 😳
It’s heartbreaking when your youngest goes to bed alone, and you realize he doesn’t need you to tuck him in bed now.
The first time your newly-licensed driver pulls out of the driveway solo, taking your cherished car conversations with her, it breaks your heart.
When your son rides his bike to school, and turns back for a final wave at you, your heart cracks just a little.
Every child has a last time doing something, and sometimes you don’t know it was the last time. Those are the heartbreaks that really hurt.
And when you have a high school graduate, all those beautiful, little heartbreaks come back to the surface, combining with the years of wonderful, hard, hilarious, and frustrating memories. They settle like a rock that sits on your chest, and you don’t know whether you should cry, or laugh, or shake your fist in anger because time flies so quickly.
So you do all of them at once.
But all those heartbreaks are important. Those little cracks and breaks create a space for more love, more compassion, more empathy, more wisdom, and more room for you to become a better parent. I have found that gratitude is a great filler for the parts of your heart that are broken, offering a salve for even the smallest of breaks.
Life is good and hard. Exciting and heartbreaking. Triumphant and disappointing. Happy and sad.
If you have the chance to be a parent—take it! The ride is amazing. Embrace all those heartbreaks and become the person you were always meant to be. ❤️
