Thumper (originally written June 2014)
I went to clean out the garage.
Brian said he had seen a mouse running in there, so it was time. Tucker was brand new and sleeping in the house.
The other kids were swimming, being watched by Samantha.
I got started. I backed out the car and then went to the front corner of the garage to move a piece of plastic. Immediately a baby rabbit runs out. A baby. Light grey fur, little white cotton ball tail...the whole thing.
Thumper.
The bunny ran past me and stopped in the other corner of the garage, next to the garage door. He could have easily run out. But in his extreme state of anxiety and fear, he stayed in the corner and kept jumping up the wall.
Bunnies are cute. They really are. But they are also pests and love to destroy my plants and trees, and they leave pellet poo all over my yard. With these thoughts in the forefront of my mind, I am able to see past the cuteness and focus on the task at hand.
What is the task? To kill it? Trap it? I clearly had not thought there was a rabbit in my garage. Brian said he saw a MOUSE!! And frankly, I didn't really believe him. I figured he just wanted the garage clean! Whatever the reason, I was in my garage with a bunny and I had to do something.
I grabbed the closest thing to me, which was my snow shovel. Yes, I realize a snow shovel in Texas is underutilized, but it came with us from Utah. I was armed and ready.
I thought I would just trap it against the wall where it was jumping, and then I could formulate a better plan. Using my cat-like reflexes, I thrust that snow shovel into the corner. Success!
WAIT…I accidentally pin the baby bunny TO the wall! This was not what I was intending to do. I wanted to trap it, not kill it! This plan has become a disaster.
And now I can tell you and interesting fact about bunnies: they cry. CRY. AND IT SOUNDS LIKE A HUMAN BABY. Did I mention that Tucker was one month old? That stupid rabbit was crying so loud, and my heart was breaking.
I froze. What should I do? I couldn't stand the crying. It was excruciatingly painful to hear. I decided to push harder and just kill the thing. I pushed. Thumper cried louder. Harder…louder. Finally, it stopped making noise. Tears filled my eyes.
I pulled back the shovel, and that bunny wasn't dead! He had a nice fold in the middle of his tiny body, and he was slowly pulling himself along the floor. Feeling about as awful as I could, I decided to end the misery I had inflicted. I raised the shovel and whacked it on the head.
THUMPER DIED. And I killed him.
I scooped up his miniscule body with the shovel and put it in the garbage. Then I said a prayer of gratitude that none of my children had witnessed that. Finally, I called my mom to confess.
Unreal. I don't know if I am cut out for Texas. This place is tough.
