Courage

Courage is the "mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty." (merriam-webster.com)Sigh.I'm weak.  At least, I have been.When I was in high school, I remember talking to my friends and asking them what they thought about a particular subject.  I knew what I had been taught at home, and I also knew what I felt was right.  I ignored all of that.  I wanted some outside opinions.  Easier opinions.  I searched for justification to be a coward.  Unfortunately, I got it.I graduated high school and went to college.  I had a new confidence.  I decided I didn't care what other people did or thought about me (instead of just pretending that's how I felt).  I cared about God and what He thought of me.  I was going to do what I knew was right.  It felt GREAT!And that is pretty much how I have lived my life.  It's not been a bad way to live.  But lately?  Well, parenting has been a rough road.Specifically, the past ten years have been intense.  I'm writing a book called "What Not to Do."  I'm kidding.  There may be a book, and that may be the title...but you better believe I won't be using my real name.  That's too embarrassing.The point is that when cell phones entered the picture, and then smart phones, and then social media, and all the games and apps and platforms...I kind of lost my way.  I didn't have any reference from how I grew up.  I couldn't reflect back on what my parents had done.  So I did what I had done before.  I looked around.I have been a coward.My heart was troubled watching my oldest daughter.  Social media was terrible for her.  Her phone provided a way to constantly see the parties she wasn't invited to, the dances she missed, and gave her unlimited access to messages (some really mean) she could read again and again.  And I did nothing.  I looked around at the other kids her age and they seemed to be handling smart phones with ease.  It's fine, I guess.  This is how things are now.I have worried about my son, who doesn't have social media.  He plays games on his phone.  He plays them and his friends play them.  The troubling part has been the constant use of phones in school.  I even joined a parent-driven movement this past year trying to get a smarter cell phone policy, a stricter cell phone policy in schools.  Is this truly courage?No, it's not.  I haven been looking outward, trying to get the school to do what I have been too weak to do myself.  I am the mother, after all.Study after study after study show the harms of excessive social media use and screen time use amongst teenagers.  But not your kid, right?  She's fine.  Violent video games have been linked to violent behavior.  But those games are fine for your family...as you watch another public-place shooting on the news.This summer has been one of reflection.  I am not happy with my parenting cowardice.  I have looked around my community, taking solace in the good company here.  But my heart has been heavy for a while.  Just wringing my hands, wondering what I can do, and hoping for the best...that is not enough.Courage.I found it.  Your struggles are probably not the same as mine.  It doesn't matter.  This is a call to all of us for courage.  It takes courage to stand alone, to do the things you know are right.This new school year will be a different one for my family.  Despite my kid's complaints, I am finally standing up and doing the right thing.  It's about time.