Birthdays
When Samantha turned three, she had a Dora the Explorer birthday party. The format was pretty standard...games, presents, cake and ice cream. Her friends came over and they all seemed to have a good time.One thing about that party stands out in my mind, though, and it happened while Samantha was opening her presents. She got three Dora dolls. THREE. Three identical presents. I remember her looking up at me after she opened the second doll, and she was still smiling. The third doll was unwrapped, and disappointment covered her face. She looked at me again, and I mouthed the words, "say thank you."She did. She said thank you and we moved on to the cake and ice cream.Almost 16 years have passed, and birthday parties have changed quite a bit. There are so many fun and exciting places to hold parties now...magic shops, ceramic-painting places, ninja warrior courses, escape rooms, roller-skating rinks, and trampoline parks. They are all so fun! However, when these places are rented out and paid for, what has disappeared is the part where the birthday kid opens presents. It's gone. Nearly non-existent.It's tragic.Maybe people think the opening of presents doesn't matter? I wholeheartedly disagree. We learn a couple of super important lessons from present-opening. The first lesson is how to be gracious. Sometimes people give you presents you don't like, don't want, don't need, or already have. Does that matter? No, it doesn't. What matters is that we recognize the time, effort and money that someone else spent on our behalf. We learn to be grateful. We learn to say thank you. We understand that the people who came to our party have much more value than the presents they brought us.The second lesson we learn is that giving is WAY better than getting. Little kids LOVE picking out presents for their friends. They just do. They are excited for the party, but the real excitement is about seeing their friend open the present they picked out. So when birthday present-opening never happens at the party...the guests leave feeling sad, and maybe a bit empty. They missed an opportunity to see how fun it is to give a well-thought out gift to someone else. They DON'T see how much their friend loves their gift. Over time, those once-altruistic kids start to view parties with a what's-in-it-for-me mentality.Ugh. That's not what we are trying to teach our kids, right?Being gracious isn't old-fashioned. Giving really is better than getting...and not just at Christmastime. Becoming an adult happens gradually, and many of the important lessons are learned while we are kids. So please, let your kids open their birthday presents in front of the entire party. Take the time and do it.It will benefit us all.