Bikes and cars
Landon got his driver's permit about a month ago. No matter how awesome your kid is, the first drive in the car is always pretty scary. As I have been gently guiding him (read: grabbing the wheel as I am screaming and holding on for dear life), I remembered when I was teaching him to ride his bike.It was about ten years ago, and we were living in California. We couldn't afford a house, so we lived in an apartment. This meant that I got to teach him to ride on the sidewalk in front of our building. There were little houses on either side of our building as well.I would also add that this was BEFORE I had discovered balance bikes. I'm not even sure they were a thing back then? Balance bikes completely changed the teaching-how-to-ride-a-bike process, and for the better. If you have a little kid...get a balance bike FIRST! No lie. It's life-altering.Back to my story.Landon was excited to learn to ride his bike. So was I. We readied ourselves on the sidewalk, and I took my position behind the bike. Like my father had taught me, I held onto the back of the bike seat as he pedaled himself forward.We did this several times, and I ran behind him as he went. His balance improved each time, and soon I could tell he did not need my help any longer. I started letting go and watched him riding ON HIS OWN! Yippee!But then...he looked back, realized I was no longer holding on, and crashed into the grass in front of the blue house right next to our apartment building. Truthfully, he didn't crash, he fell over on purpose. ON PURPOSE.We tried again and again and again, and he did the same thing each time. My frustration level was high. Landon could ride his bike perfectly, but as soon as he noticed I wasn't running behind him, he jumped ("fell") onto the grass in front of the blue house.My patience was gone. Each time he tipped over, I would yell something."Stop jumping off your bike, Landon!""Don't do that!""Why are you falling on purpose?""Stop being an idiot!"I may have used the idiot phrase more than once. I still stand by it. His behavior was, at this point, pretty idiotic.One final time he rode down the sidewalk, and one final time he looked back and jumped off his bike onto the grass. One final time I yelled, "stop being an idiot!"All of a sudden, the woman inside the blue house came out and yelled, "He's NOT an idiot! He's a beautiful boy!"Gulp.I grabbed Landon and his bike and we retreated to our apartment. I was fuming. I was mad at Landon, mad at the lady in the blue house, mad that I didn't have my own house with my own driveway where I could teach how I wanted to.I was just MAD.Like always, I have learned several lessons from the bike riding debacle.
- Landon is, indeed, a beautiful boy (I already knew this, by the way). However, he was acting like an idiot and I think it's my duty as his mother to point that out from time to time. Granted, my delivery needed to improve. Everyone acts dumb sometimes, and it's ok to get called out.
- I needed a mom time-out. I was so frustrated and upset about something ridiculous. I should have stopped, gone inside, and tried again another day. This is still hard for me.
- Anger has never helped me parent or teach more effectively. Not once. I am forever working on this one. Being slow to anger does not come naturally to me.
Ten years later, Landon can ride a bike all by himself. He's been doing it for a long time. Now he is learning to drive a car. I hope I can remember the lessons I learned so long ago.Heaven help me.