Things to forget
“I can’t really remember Grandpa Haddock anymore, Mom. What was he like?”
I was surprised by my daughter’s words. Already?? My dad died just a bit over five years ago, and my girls—who absolutely adored their grandpa—had already forgotten him. It felt too fast.
After this conversation, I started thinking a lot about the things we forget—and the things we don’t. In my experience, the long-lasting memories are the ones that get shared again and again. Funny stories that are retold at every family gathering are one of my favorite things. Writing those stories down is something I feel quite passionate about. Honestly, it takes work to remember the people and the moments that we love.
On the flip side, there are things that we probably need to forget. We can hold tightly to some experiences that we need to let go. Because it is so easy to focus on the negative, the bad moments are the ones we say we can NEVER FORGET.
I have some memories that feel like they have been seared into my brain. Fights that I’ve had with Brian or my kids, dumb decisions I have made, mean things that were said and instantly regretted, and a million other mistakes I’ve made in my life. These memories seem to live freely in my head, and require hardly any work to be recalled.
Doesn’t that seem backwards???
Regardless of how it seems, I believe we have a choice (at least until we get really old😜) in what we want to remember, and what we want to forget. Ask yourself if the memories you have on repeat in your head are there intentionally or not? If the answer is no, it’s time to get down to business! You have some cleaning out to do. There is only so much storage space in your head, so don’t fill it with moments where you were at your worst. There is no value in that.
Do not think I am saying that you can free yourself from the consequences of your actions, or the responsibility that comes with your decisions. You cannot. The wisdom I have gained by living my life has come through a lot of failures. But I don’t have to keep remembering and reliving the actual mistakes. Let those go and be forgotten!
As the new year approaches, make a choice. Intentionally decide the things you WANT to remember, and also the things you CHOOSE to forget.
Put in the work.
Like always, it’s up to you.
