Obstacles

When I was 8 years old, I contracted Chicken Pox. I was very sick, and although I ultimately recovered, I came out of it with a new illness that would never leave. This new condition was a huge obstacle for me. Now my life had lots of doctor appointments and tests and medications. I hated all of it and wished so badly that I would be cured.

I wasn’t.

When I got pregnant with each of my six children, their health was my number one concern. I just wanted them to be perfectly healthy. Please, please, let them be healthy. I didn’t want them to have the obstacles in their lives that I had in mine. Truthfully, I wanted their lives to be smooth sailing.

Time passed, and I watched the complications appear. Diabetes, hypothyroidism, ADHD, surgeries needed to correct a dysfunctional ureter, permanent teeth that were knocked out, social and emotional struggles, anxiety and depression. I was devastated. As every new obstacle occurred, I could feel myself getting more and more angry. WHY WAS THIS HAPPENING?! Life was so incredibly unfair. It wasn’t right!!

And then…I paused.

What did I really want for my children? A perfect life with no problems at all? A world in which they were all beautiful and smart and kind and nothing bad happened?

YES!!!

Well, no, actually.

I didn’t really want that at all.

Every person on the earth has obstacles in their path. Their very existence does not mean that anything has gone wrong. However, sometimes as parents we try to remove obstacles, especially from our kids’ lives. We mistakenly believe that a smooth road is the best kind of road. While that may be true for driving, it isn’t true for living.

I looked back at my own experiences, and found that the most painful, long-suffering obstacles were the things that taught me the most. The obstacles in my path led to my personal growth. I didn’t hate them. I needed them. All the hard things refined me in a way that nothing else could. They made me more of almost everything—stronger, smarter, more patient, more loving, more forgiving, more understanding, more empathetic. As hard as they can be, our obstacles are gifts.

Why would I want to rob my kids (or anyone) of that kind of growth?

I don’t.

So keep climbing, no matter how big or hard the obstacle. Just keep climbing.