Not mine

For the last several years, I have attempted to get Christmas shopping done early. I failed miserably. It just never happens.

I have a daughter’s birthday around Thanksgiving and another daughter’s birthday right before Christmas, so it always feels rushed and last-minute. And I usually get upset at myself, believing that if I was just a little more organized, everything would be better. Well, I had had enough of this self-talk, so this year I decided to leave everything (mostly) til all the birthdays were done.

I had 10 days.

Feeling up to the challenge, Amazon and I got busy. I scrolled and shopped and ordered like a madwoman. I was on a roll. Packages were getting delivered on the daily. Yes, I could have been more organized and gotten things delivered in fewer boxes, but I did not. I found things and pushed order. Again and again I did this. A few days in to this madness, I came home to an Amazon delivery bin sitting on my porch, with several boxes inside.

How thoughtful! This was amazing. It felt like a nice gesture.

Christmas came…and Christmas went. The bin was still there. I have ordered a few more household items, like always, and I figured one of the Amazon employees would take the bin back. They do not. Here we are, almost a month later, and that bin sits on my porch like an abandoned child. Is this gesture nice? I’m quite sick of the bin and would like it gone…and yet, I feel like it’s mine now. Somehow, because I was gifted the bin, I have to keep it.

I walked outside this afternoon and saw the bright blue bin with a yellow bow, and I realized something.

It’s not mine, and I don’t have to keep it.

Hallelujah!

I felt freedom and relief almost instantly, and a greater realization enveloped my mind.

This wasn’t just about the Amazon bin—I could live my life this way. People often share their “stuff” with others. It can come in words of advice, reprimands, criticizing voices, helpful hints, or actual clothes, toys, books, and other things. While you may feel like you have to keep the “stuff",” I’m here to tell you that you don’t. Let me repeat that—you don’t have to keep the things that you don’t want to keep, just because they have been given to you. This includes our thoughts as well.

You are the architect of your own life.

So my Amazon bin is out by my driveway at the moment, giving one last opportunity to be returned to its owner. But if not, that bin will be in my garbage. It’s not mine, and it’s time to let it go.