Love

Valentine’s Day had me thinking a lot about one of my favorite topics—love. ❤️

Loving other people is a choice. You can decide to love someone and you can also decide to stop loving them. It is really that simple. Love is not merely a feeling that comes and goes with the winds that blow in and out of your life. Loving others can be difficult sometimes. True love is patient, kind, and selfless; it is never selfish, mean, condescending, or abusive.

Love is a decision that you make every day. Everyday.

Love is also a decision you can make ahead of time.

Naturally, we tend to think the opposite is true. I must meet someone, get to know them really well, understand all their flaws and imperfections, and THEN I can decide if they are worth loving.

Yikes.

That sounds exhausting…and ridiculous.

I have a big family with quite a few siblings. My husband’s family is even bigger. That means there are a lot of spouses and in-laws and nieces and nephews that I didn’t get to pre-screen for lovability factors.😜 Instead, I got to choose to love each one of them, even before I knew them. Not every person is a kindred spirit, but I love them anyway. I even decided to love a brother-in-law who was a bit weird and often isolated himself from the rest of the family. We all still chose to love him.

Well, life is tumultuous and can be difficult. I have learned that you can decide to stop loving someone as well.

You can, and it’s ok.

My sister got divorced a few years ago, and I made a decision right then to stop loving her ex-husband. I didn’t even feel guilty about it. I chose to love my sister and her kids, and just let God love the ex. He is perfect at loving everyone. Thank heavens for that, literally!

The problem for me was that I had a picture of this guy. I didn’t like seeing his face in my house. I had no love for him. So I colored over my ex-brother-in-law’s face on that picture. Good enough? Truthfully, it bothered me. The picture was of my parents and siblings and our spouses, and I loved most of it. I think I needed a sign. Boy, did I get one.

The picture fell off the wall—repeatedly. I would rehang it, and it would fall again and again. After the last time, I didn’t put it back up. For several months, the framed picture sat at the top of the stairs, beckoning me for a solution. Last night I decided to try one final time.

CRASH!

The picture fell and tumbled down the stairs, damaging the edges of the frame.

For the love. Was this inspired??

I woke up this morning and decided it was. My wall, along with my heart, was rejecting the picture with the ex in it. I knew what I had to do. I took the picture out of the frame, and starting cutting. As he was positioned right in the center, this was no easy task. I cut the picture in half. Then a little from the left…a little more from the right. I taped the two sides together and then colored what was left of his head, attempting to blend it in with the background.

Perfection? Not even close.

However, I reframed the new picture and hung it on my wall. It is still there, full of the faces that I have chosen to love—and delightfully missing the one I chose to stop loving.

I do try to love everyone. Occasionally, there are those who belittle, demean, and are rude. I’m pretty comfortable choosing to not love them. I let God do that. Hallelujah.

But please remember, no matter what is happening in your life…

Love is always a choice.