Lies I stopped believing
In my naivete as a youth, I believed a lot of things that I heard. Whether it came from teachers, friends, or other well-meaning adults, I was on board. Some of these catchphrases were meant to inspire and protect, but have fallen flat as I’ve lived my life. I hope this post doesn’t read too cynical…it’s meant to be more of a Holly Snow reality post.
Welcome.
Let’s go.
Cheaters never prosper.
Actually, they do. Cheaters win all the time—in school, in politics, in church, and in life. I suppose when I think about life from an eternal perspective, it probably doesn’t pay off to cheat. But in the here and now, I’ve watched those who cheat and deal dishonestly with others get awarded, acknowledged, promoted, and adored. Regardless of the accolades, cheating is still bad for the soul.
At one point in my high school experience, I was taking Spanish. There was a test, and I was nervous. I sat in the back of the room and started answering questions. I heard giggling and looked up. A girl in the front row, a native Spanish speaker, was using her hands to indicate the correct answers to the multiple-choice portion. So I cheated. I looked at her for the answer to every question that she offered. At the end of the class, I felt terrible inside. And guess what? I didn’t get caught and I got an A on that test. It was a despicable moment in my life. I never cheated again.
But I don’t believe that cheaters never prosper. They do. A LOT.
Things will work out.
What does this mean? Usually, when people say this, the meaning is that everything will turn out the way you want it to, just wait. Well, some of us can wait a long time, and it ain’t working out the way we want! Life marches forward, and we adjust and learn to adapt, or we don’t. Accidents, death, heartbreaking diagnoses, and trauma of every kind are EVERYWHERE. It’s not “working out.” But life is full of good and bad things.
When my dad was in the hospital, he was deteriorating quickly. His doctor came in and talked to us a few times. One day he said Dad would be better and home by Tuesday. Another time he told us the medicine was kicking in and he would start improving. Things will work out.
Dad died that Friday morning.
Things definitely did not work out like the doctor thought, and not how I wanted them to. Like I said, good and bad things happen to everyone. There is no escape from that reality. But waiting for things to work out feels helpless and lame. Instead, I believe we can handle anything that comes our way. There is so much power in viewing ourselves as strong and capable in any circumstances.
Snakes are the most frightening creatures on the planet.
Oh, wait. That’s still true.
Moving on.
Hard work always pays off.
It does? I think this phrase confused me. Hard work is valuable and worthwhile, but what do most of us think of when we say it pays off?
Hard work=dreams come true.
Well, this is going to be a hard NOPE. Working hard can make you stronger, more capable, diligent, and adept. There is no guarantee though, that your hard work will give you the part you auditioned for, the starting spot on the football team, or anything else that you desperately wanted. Hard work is important, but it is not a guarantee for your dreams.
When I was in junior high, I ran track. Specifically, I ran the 400-meter run. It was brutal. I wasn’t particularly wonderful at this race but I worked really hard. I practiced and practiced and practiced. I often trained with another girl who was amazing. My time improved steadily throughout the year. Finally, it was the day of our district track meet. I wanted to win. All the runners lined up and the starting gun went off. I ran that 400-meter race the fastest I had ever run before.
I didn’t win.
I think I came in fourth. Not even on the stand! My dreams of winning the 400-meter were shattered. In my 14-year-old mind, my hard work had not paid off, at least not the way I dreamed.
Now I can see all the benefits that came from the work I put in. I don’t regret one second of my time spent on track. I teach my kids the importance of working hard, in every aspect of their life. But it’s no guarantee, and it doesn’t necessarily “pay off” in accomplishing our dreams. Still, the work is valuable and necessary.
Thanks for coming to this Holly Snow reality tour.😜
