Knowing what’s coming

2023 was a long year for me, mostly because I had a frozen shoulder for the majority of it. There were a lot of painful, sleepless nights filled with endless tossing and turning. I stretched, swallowed several pills, googled A LOT of possible remedies, bought, tried-out, and then returned the most expensive pillow contraption known to man, and even went to a chiropractor for relief. I had my husband give me a PRP shot, which I couldn’t even get done without a humiliating fainting episode in his office.

What was the result?

Well, my shoulder began to thaw around October—approximately 10 months after it started freezing. The time passed slowly. Brian encouraged me to do all the stretching exercises, but my pain was so intense, I often did nothing. I stretched periodically, when I remembered/wanted to do it. In the summer, I got serious and stretched consistently to restore my full mobility. Today, my right shoulder is not quite the same, but it is close. I can move without pain and do all the things I was doing before.

A few weeks ago, around the end of December, I was waking up with pain in my left shoulder.

At 48, pain in the morning is as likely as having to pee when you wake up, so I moved on. Nothing to see here, folks. Then two weeks ago I noticed that my shoulder felt really tight. Wait—it’s impossible to happen twice, right? I already did this! You don’t get frozen shoulder on each side, do you?? I lifted my left arm and grimaced through the pain.

Nooooooooo.

My left shoulder was freezing.

I wish I had a word that expressed my absolute frustration, anger, and despair as I realized what my 2025 would be.

AAARRRRRRGGGGGG!!!

No, that’s not it.

SKIBIDI TOILET!

Even that middle school phrase wasn’t right.

It was more like this:

$T#%+&*H$!@%&!

Yep. That’s it.

I know what’s coming. I am acutely aware of the pain, sleeplessness, and stiffness that lies in wait. It’s already becoming difficult to put a coat/jacket on. I feel dread…all-consuming, overwhelming, dread. My future—at least for the next 10 to 12 months—is set. Needless to say, I’ve been a real joy to be around. But then, deep in my thoughts, I realized the advantage I have in knowing my immediate future.

I can do something.

Nothing magical or miraculous—but something.

I could do things differently than last time. I would stretch more diligently—like never-miss-a-day-stretching, or I’m-training-for-the-frozen-shoulder-Olympics. Honestly, I’ve never been so committed to anything in my life! I get myself to the sauna gym every single day. I never skip. Because I know what’s coming, I’m all in to doing whatever I can to (hopefully!) make my shoulder less frozen for less time.

So far, so good.

My committment has lasted a week and a half, but I’m going strong. 😂😂

I won’t quit. I’ve already noticed that my shoulder moves easier and hurts less after I stretch, so I’m sticking to it.

Knowing what’s coming, at first, felt unfair and hopeless. That wasn’t working for me. So my perspective changed. I’m seeing this as an opportunity to change, to be disciplined and steadfast. As confirmed once again by my in-house medical expert, I cannot prevent my shoulder from freezing.

Fine.

In the face of something I cannot control, I’m choosing to focus on what I can—and in this specific instance, that means stretching my shoulder.

Let’s go.