Plans

The week after Christmas we packed ourselves into the car and started driving to Utah. That drive is never fun, but winter adds a whole new element of excitement. We’ve hit a deer (well, I hit the deer), driven through snow and icy roads, and even plowed through blizzards that were blinding. This year was one of the bad ones and not just because of the weather.

I had just taken our car into the shop before we left. We got everything ready for it to make a long drive. The journey began.

After several hours, we stopped for lunch. Although we didn’t necessarily need gas, Brian took advantage of the stop and filled the tank. We started driving again and barely 10 minutes later the control panel was flashing lights like the Fourth of July. The check engine light was blinking as were several others. I looked up what a blinking check engine light meant, and it wasn’t anything good. I called my auto shop back home and asked for advice. They told us to drive to an Auto Zone and have them pull the codes. We did. I called my guys back and they thought it was best to take the car in and have it checked out. They found a place in Albuquerque, which was now 20 minutes away. We arrived at the shop. This body shop was expecting us and got to work right away.

Like most auto shops, there were about 4 chairs in a tiny waiting room. No thank you. We took our large family and started walking. We walked and walked, and could faintly see the glowing blue letters of Walmart ahead. It was cold and rainy, so we picked up the pace. Then we walked around Walmart…for a long time. Hours later (I think about 3), my phone rang. The auto shop had run every test they could, and the car was running like a dream. No issues whatsoever. They thought it was probably bad gas that had caused the control panel to freak out.

A three-hour delay for bad gas??

Frustrated, but reassured, we continued.

Storms hit unexpected parts of the drive. We were slowed again and again by heavy snow and ice on the road. After I had been driving for a while, white-knuckling it through terrible conditions, Brian and I switched. Despite growing up in California, he is a better driver than me. Faster? No. But definitely safer.

He was driving, and I could relax. I mindlessly scrolled through my phone. The cruise control was set at 70 mph and we were making decent progress. All of a sudden I heard Brian say,

“Oh shoot.”

I could feel the car sliding fast. I sat up and helplessly watched as we slid across the road into the oncoming lanes, prepping myself to hit a tree or snowbank or something. At the speed we were traveling, rolling seemed inevitable. Time slowed. I wondered what this would feel like. Would we survive? Only some of us? None of us? We kept sliding.

Miraculously, the wheels found some traction and we fishtailed back and forth as Brian skillfully steered us back into our lane. Silently, I put my hand on his arm. I couldn’t speak. It felt like we had cheated death. We had definitely escaped a horrific accident, at the least. Thankfully, no cars were driving toward us while we slid into oncoming traffic. No cars were next to us either, which made our slip-and-slide routine less deadly.

From the back of the car, I heard my son say,

“Nice driving, Dad.”

It was.

There wasn’t much about our drive that went according to plan. But—we did make it to Utah, even if it was a day later than we planned.

That is how life goes: I make plans, life happens, and I adjust and make new plans. It’s the adjusting that can be hard. Letting go of how it should be, and accepting how it is. If you don’t learn how to adjust to new circumstances and upheavals in your plans, life will feel consistently unfair. It’s a terrible feeling. You may think that it would be better to stop planning altogether. It’s not. I swear, I’ve tried that and it is a disaster.

Plans give us direction. They can guide us where we want to go. But when plans get messed up, remember that adjusting and making new plans is also a part of life. Don’t get stuck hanging onto what should have been. Adjust, turn, refocus, and make new plans.

Like everything else, it just takes some practice.