Fighting for our Limitations

I am unorganized.

I have plenty of evidence to support this claim. Early in our marriage and hating the impending pile of laundry, I threw the colored clothes in with our whites—not surprisingly, everything came out pink. Whoops. Running late, I backed my brand-new car out of the garage and hit the side, almost ripping the passenger side mirror clear off. Oof. In a rush again, I backed up a different car in the garage with the trunk up, destroying the back handle and severely scratching the door. I flew home one time from my husband’s family reunion without my car keys, so even though my car was at the airport, I had to Uber home. The latest? I mistakenly flew to NYC a day before I was supposed to be there. 😳

There’s more.

But you get the point. I could fill pages and pages with evidence of my disorganization, and more pages with all the things I have skipped, forgotten, or missed because of it.

We all have areas where things are difficult for us. The question is, are you fighting for your limitations? Do you use your deficiencies as excuses, explaining why you do this or that, or even why you cannot do a particular task?

I did this exact thing for a long time. I’m unorganized. I’m a hot mess. I can’t do it.

My girls have been dancing competitively for several years. Eight, to be exact. The competitions and conventions are held on the weekends, some are near and others are far away. I know about the weekends months in advance, so there is plenty of time to book a hotel room and be prepared. For seven years, my struggle with organization meant that the hotels were often booked by the time I got around to it, so my girls and I stayed in a nearby hotel. Other times, there were available rooms, but the cheaper rate was long gone and I paid a premium rate. It was annoying. Regardless, I fought for my limitation. I’m unorganized! There was nothing I could do about it—it’s just how I am.

Well, this year I got tired of doing the same old thing. I didn’t have to be a hot mess, right? As soon as the schedule of competitions came out, I called the hotels and booked rooms. I even flagged the confirmation emails so I could find my reservation when I needed it. I could hardly believe what I had done! I felt amazingly proud of myself for a moment, but life moved on and I forgot about it.

Months later, I got a phone call from another dance mom asking if I had a room at the convention hotel. Apparently, another event was happening at the same time, and the hotel was completely booked. I could hear the shock in her voice when I confirmed that I did. We both laughed about it. ME! The unorganized dance mom was ready and prepared!! As we chatted on the phone, I pulled up the flagged confirmation email—I was having a hard time believing it myself. But there it was. I had a hotel room.

I got off the phone and sat in awe. I was learning how to be an organized person. I wish I could say a switch flipped and I labeled my entire house and never missed an appointment again. That DID NOT happen. However, I decided to stop fighting for my limitations. I’m learning what it takes for me to be organized, and none of it comes easily. I fail a lot (like flying to NYC a day early and all that happened there). That’s what learning looks like.

What are your limitations? Are you fighting for them? Have you fought for so long that you think they are becoming part of your identity? Are you tired of it?

So was I.

Let’s talk. Sometimes your limitations are so believable, you think it’s just how you are.

It’s not.