Normal
Just in case you were wondering, my family is perfect. ☺️
Wait.
That’s not right.
What I meant to say is…my family is normal.
My family has ups and downs, some really great moments and times we all wish to forget. We laugh and get along great and we also argue and say mean things to each other. We rage quit. We crash out. We do it all. 😂 I believe all families are a bit dysfunctional, struggling, and complicated at times. Even the ones who look great on the outside. Honestly, it would be helpful to have more realistic expectations about the whole thing.
When I got married, I got to see a whole new version of normal in my husband’s family. They were different in so many ways than the family I grew up in, but the ups and downs and messiness remained the same. Now I have watched my own family grow up and we are perfectly normal.
I guarantee you—so is yours.
I think God created families so we could learn how to love each other. Sometimes, we are just trying to get along. Loving a bunch of people with different personalities and issues unconditionally is NOT innate. It ain’t folks. You may absolutely LOVE and ADORE that newborn baby, but babies grow up and turn into people that irritate and annoy you. For real. Loving each other just takes a lot of work. And practice. And patience. And forgiveness.
Rinse and repeat.
Rinse and repeat.
At this very moment, your family dynamic may be complicated or stressful. You may feel like a failure as a parent, a sibling, or a child. Instead, I think it is a great indicator that your family is very normal. There are three things that have helped me navigate sticky situations.
Apologize. Saying your sorry isn’t a sign of weakness. Being able to admit that you were wrong, that your words were too harsh, that you were too loud, too quick with a sarcastic retort, or laughed too hard at another’s misfortune are evidences of maturity and strength. In a family, the opportunites to apologize come around daily. Take advantage of them. Be quick to say you’re sorry, and really mean it. Practice A LOT.
Lighten up. Have a sense of humor. Laughing at yourself can be a unifying, and sometimes a healing balm. I just have to remember to laugh at myself more and at everyone else less.
Food and sleep. Seriously! Never underestimate the role of eating and sleeping. If everyone is at each other’s throats, you probably need to eat. And take a nap. Possibly both. This was true when I had toddlers, and it is still true today. Stay well-fed and well-rested, and everything improves.
If you have a family (and everyone does!), welcome to the jungle! Embrace the mess. Laugh together. Be liberal with your sorrys. Eat. Sleep.
My family is normal, and so is yours.
