A little help

My husband walked into our apartment in California, looked around at the new decor, and then looked at me. He seemed puzzled.

“Is there a theme you are trying to create? Is it wood-sy?”

First of all, I laughed. The question was so ridiculous, and I was definitely NOT trying to create a wood-sy feeling in our home. Then I got angry. I wasn’t really mad at Brian as much as I was at myself. Decorating our house left me exasperated and disappointed. I scoured Pinterest and endless magazines, looking for inspiration. I’d find one thing, then another, and another. Nothing worked together. I had no vision. I just felt…clueless.

To me, interior decorating was obnoxious. And yet, I wanted a gorgeous home. I convinced myself that I should be good at designing and decorating because I had time. I was a stay-at-home mother! Isn’t this what I was to do?? I was supposed to create a beautiful, welcoming, lovely piece of heaven with pictures and pillows galore. Shopping should have been my true medium, and stores were simply the gate to my creative genius. Right?

Well.

That’s not how things were for me.

I felt badly about myself for a very long time. I was embarrassed about my home and my inability to create what I wanted to do. I compared my house to everyone else’s, and I always came out the loser.

Then things changed for the better in 2017. I hired a decorator, who became a beloved friend. At first, I was very intimidated. We would shop together, and she would ask me if I liked this or that? I didn’t know! She must have seen the panic in my eyes, and she would offer what she liked better. I trusted her completely. She could go into the same stores I hated and come out with perfect, beautiful pieces for my house. She could visualize all the things I wanted, but didn’t know how to get. It was incredible to watch her work. After several months, she had changed my house into something I absolutely loved. I still do.

I think of this experience often. A little (or a LOT of) help not only transformed my home, but me. I stopped beating myself up for not knowing what the heck I was doing, and would just call her instead. Oh, it was so nice.

Isn’t this how life is actually supposed to be? We all have areas of expertise, and we can help each other out. No one knows how to do everything, or even most of the things. We need a little help. And when that help arrives, it provides more than just the expertise—it gives us relief.

It’s the relief you feel when your mom comes to stay after you bring your first baby home. It’s the relief that covers you when the plumber knocks on your door after you tried to fix a leaky sink and made a water explosion instead. It’s the relief that comes when the diabetes educator sits down and teaches you how to navigate your new life with a new diagnosis. It’s the relief you get when your coach frees you from ALL your mom guilt.

Don’t be afraid of getting some help. We all need it. Just don’t ask me for help with decorating your family room, or game room, or pretty much any room. It’s definitely not my expertise.

But—if you are struggling in your relationships, with yourself or with others—let’s talk.

I’m your gal.