Tennis Matches

Years ago, Brian and I decided to go play tennis.

In my mind, it seemed like it would be a fun thing to do together. I had never played tennis before. Not really. I had barely stepped on a tennis court. Brian did say he had some lessons as a kid, but I had never seen him play.

It was going to be great.

Brian served the ball and it gently soared over the net. We hit it back and forth a few times, but I could tell he was playing down to my level. It was aggravating. Imagine watching a father gingerly tossing a ball to his toddler, and you’ll have the right idea.

Every serve made me angry. I was working so hard to even make contact with the ball and Brian looked bored. I was so frustrated at my lack of skill, but mostly I was embarrassed.

I finally snapped and yelled at Brian,

“Stop doing that! Play for real or not at all!”

He laughed at my outburst but agreed.

I readied myself for some actual tennis. Brian tossed the tennis ball up, arched his back, and swung his racket.

What the?

I didn’t even see the ball, but I heard it whiz angrily past my ear. I looked at him, stunned. Who was this person? That serve had to have been a fluke. I demanded a redo.

He did.

The next ball nearly killed me. I’m not joking.

Absolutely humiliated, I sat on the court and threw my hands up.

“I’m done.”

I walked off the tennis court and we’ve never played again.

Interestingly, I remembered this experience as I was reading a book about grit, or rather, my lack of it. I was devastated when Brian really started playing tennis. Even though my heart was all in, my skills and abilities were seriously lacking. There was no way I could have played a real tennis match with him. We were in totally different places on the tennis-playing spectrum. He had played before and had lessons before! We were not in the same place. I was so lame compared to him, and I couldn’t handle the truth, which was that I was a beginner, and he was not.

So I quit tennis on the same afternoon I started tennis.

Can you relate? Do you ever compare yourself to people who are right there at your goal and you are just a newbie? It feels terrible. It feels hopeless. It seems like those people have something special that is lacking in YOU, right?

Here’s the truth:

They don’t.

You don’t see all the grueling work and practice and boring, repetitive exercises that created where they are now. No one broadcasts that around because it’s—well—boring. Our brains seek dopamine and instant transformations always deliver. But transformations are never instant. Not ever.

The success you see and use as a beacon isn’t from someone being special…it’s the result of being consistent.

So don’t quit. Let yourself be the beginner you are, and let consistency be your guide.