You look fine to me
I broke my foot when I was 13. The next day, I showed up late for school with a cast on my leg and crutches under my arms. I must have looked fairly helpless because I had several offers of help. Friends came to carry my bag, my books, or help in any way they could. It was lovely.
My daughter with diabetes has a very visible, physical illness. Her insulin pump is easily seen on the back of her arm. Because of this visibility, we have found that people are compassionate toward her. If she has low blood sugar at dance, the other dancers come to her aid with candy or treats to help her get back to normal. Those kind of moments are heartwarming.
I think the majority of us are pretty good at being kind and helping those who obviously need help. But could we be better friends to those whose needs are not physically obvious?
I cannot speak to all mental illnesses and disorders, but we have had some experience with ADHD in my family. The hard part about this disorder is that the ones afflicted look just like everyone else. There is no insulin pump, wheelchair, crutch, or prosthetic leg to make you pause and show more compassion. The disorder is always there, invisible to the eye, but affecting every friendship, every conversation, every job, every aspect of your life. It’s just there.
Because these types of illnesses and disorders affect the mind, it’s easy for others to pretend they don’t exist. I have noticed that people feel free to share all kinds of opinions about ADHD. Sometimes they will say things to me, most of which is not super helpful.
“I don’t believe in ADHD. It’s made up.”
“It’s way overdiagnosed, don’t you think?”
“I like you much better when you don’t take medication.”
“Don’t you grow out of that?”
“What’s wrong with you??”
Like I said, not really helpful.
Sometimes people move on from the commentary about ADHD and go straight to ignoring the person who has it. This is not great, either. Has being ignored/forgotten helped anyone EVER??
People with ADHD get judged pretty harshly. Labels of Weird, Annoying, Juvenile, Irrational, Flighty, and Unreliable get thrown around so often they become believable. These moments are not heartwarming.
We can do better than this. A broken leg is a helpful reminder to show compassion, but not necessary. We can choose to be compassionate towards everyone, even if it appears that they don’t need it. After all, who are we to judge?
